Disregard at your own peril

If you’re planning to have a meal in Italy and want to keep safe, remember these rules. Disregard them at your own peril….

1

Don’t overcook your pasta
What do I mean by that? Mm… think tinned pasta. That could give most Italians a heart attack. Overcooked pasta is not pasta.

2

Serve salad with olive oil and vinegar… only!
Anything else you’ll try to dress a salad with, Italians simply won’t understand what you’re talking about. They’ll wink and look at you like you need to join the local psychiatric institution. A few drops of fresh lemon, maybe… but you can forget about any blue cheese or mustard-based dressings.

3

Don’t spread butter on your bread
Italian bread is so good that you can eat it au naturel. Spreading butter all over it would almost be an insult to the bread-maker. What are you hinting at? The bread isn’t tasty enough for you, ah? No, no, you don’t wanna do that. But when it comes to olive oil, well, that’s a completely different story. So, drizzle on!

4

Don’t eat savouries for breakfast
Biscuits, cookies, croissants, and cakes. A salad for breakfast? You’re certainly in the wrong country. Even only a boiled egg would be stretching it. What about bread? An Italian staple, right? Well, that’d have to be with jam… and butter, which strictly in this combination and for this meal is acceptable. Talking about illogical rules!

5

Don’t put pineapple on your pizza
Or salmon. Or fries. Please don’t. Just don’t! It’s not even about rules, it’s just wrong…

6

Don’t cook fish with cheese
Years ago, when I used to have a TV, I remember watching the show of a famous British chef, travelling through Italy to learn the traditional Italian way of cooking. One day, it was his turn to cook for the local people in the village he was visiting. He cooked a fish dish. With cheese. Major f*@x up! The locals couldn’t even look at the dish, let alone tasting it. Never… And I mean never… ask for parmesan cheese for your seafood pasta. My ex once did. The waiter simply refused, after staring at my ex with defiant disgust for a few seconds. What about the saying – the customer is always right? Forget about it when it comes to food rules and Italians.

7

Don’t put chicken on your pasta
I don’t know why this is such a taboo, but chicken on pasta is not an option in Italy. Same on pizza. If you see it, feel free to raise your concerns.

8

Don’t drink cappuccino with your food
Or before your food. I was dying for a coffee while in Milan.
I ordered a macchiato before a sandwich. The girl behind the counter looked at me shocked and asked: “What? Do you mean now?”. I said, yes! She turned speechless to her boss, who proudly intervened: “You foreigners come here and order your coffee before food, that’s flabbergasting. We don’t drink cappuccinos with our panini”. I nodded and smiled. Let’s not even mention I ordered my tasty refreshment in proper native Italian. But that’s another story.

9
Drink beer with your pizza
Well, I drink wine with pizza, of course! But most people drink beer. It’s the perfect combination, especially in the summer. Even my Mum, who’s by the look of it allergic to alcohol, enjoys a small beer with her pizza.

10

Don’t put ice in your wine
It’s a no-no. Even when you’re flying on a budget airline and the Prosecco you purchase is lukewarm, you still don’t put ice in it. Even, and especially, if the flight attendant insists. You just don’t. I was in Berlin with an Italian friend. We had a picnic with a (gastronomical) unruly bunch. They insisted that my friend had ice in his wine. Eventually, he was sick behind the bushes. We blamed the ice in the wine. And we’re still laughing about it to this day.